The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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