so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
