He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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