Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
