Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
