Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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