How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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