real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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