You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
