I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
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