How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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