youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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