I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
