In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
