No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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