I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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