ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
