Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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