"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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