We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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