matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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