You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
