Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
It's just like the Real World with babies
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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