it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
