google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Randomize
