I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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