I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he thought i was a dude.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
im holly from the hills drunk
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
