Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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