On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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