i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize