Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize