Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
