I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
