I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
