it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
