I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
