There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
