I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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