In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
her vagine was all disorganized.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Randomize
