PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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