WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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