He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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