the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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