So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
