I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
