Your mouth is God's brothel.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
