Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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