At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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