Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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