There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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