The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
