you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
