I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Randomize
