just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize