I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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