Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
