I will die if light touches me.
I think I died a long time ago.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize