I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
