next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
