I am spending my child support on dildos
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
