It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
