Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
i drank out of a bidet.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
sex in a hospital.. check
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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